The Good, the Tolerable, and the Worst

My astute friend Clay recently wrote about bad movies and their stranglehold on people who don't want to waste their money by sleeping through them. He rightly pointed out that sleeping through one will provide you with more benefit than submitting yourself to many minutes of torturous tedium. Judging movies good or bad is certainly subjective, and even Clay and I don't agree on which movies are okay to sleep through, cough*Robots*cough. (I'm an unabashed lover of any and all animated movies.) This idea of sleeping through bad movies made me think of two things: how I hate sleeping through movies and how many people I know complain about bad movies.

I'm the type of chap who can't do anything else while watching a movie. Ask anyone who has tried to say something to me when I'm in front of the television. It has a mystical hold over me like one of those spinning hypnosis swirls. I can't look away, and I can't pay attention to anything else in the vicinity. Remember that if you ever need to share an embarrassing tidbit and my ears are not the intended landing zone; just turn on a movie. So, to me, sleeping through a movie is the antithesis of having it on. I could no more sleep through a movie than I could listen to the Beach Boys when I'm really in the mood for the Beatles.

Actually, I did sleep through a part of a movie once. It was Return of the Jedi, and circumstances will exonerate me! It was during the series re-release in 1997. It was on a Friday and I had woken up at 6 a.m. for school, suffered through an entire day of public education and social ridicule, rode the bus to a foreign city, participated in a track meet where I raced in the mile and two-mile races, rode the bus back, then caught the midnight showing of RotJ. At about the last third of the movie, I started to nod off. I caught the very end when all hell breaks loose on Endor and Lando busts ass out of the Death Star 2.0 before it goes up in flames. I was so tired! It wasn't my fault! Okay. It was my fault. On some level, I still feel guilty about that one.

The other idea is about how many people I know who seem to only watch bad movies. Granted, I'm much different about my movie going than almost everyone else. I'll see just about anything. I have my standards, but they are much lower than most. Like Blade II; I actually liked it okay when I saw it. Keep in mind, though, that I judge movies that aren't really that good by their parts rather than their whole. Blade II had a great score by Marco Beltrami, and some good martial arts action, which I always enjoy. Despite my leniency on mediocre movies, it seems that many people are much harder on them and then judge all movies on this.

Now, these people aren't friends of mine, because my friends aren't judgmental. But when I casually talk movies with people at work, acquaintences at school, or strangers on the corner, many times I can tell that they aren't at all into movies. This is obvious because they will say that the only movie they saw in the last year was License to Wed, which they hated, of course. I ask how come they didn't see something better, and their response is usually dismissive, as if there aren't any better movies out there. Or worse yet, the "I'm just not a movie goer normally."

Far be it for me to push my values on other people, but c'mon! If you go to see just one movie per year, then like Clay said, by all means go see The Visitor. It is good. All around. Not only is it interesting throughout and never boring, it is also good for the old synapses up there and makes us think about how we touch people with the littlest of efforts, which can cause the biggest of reactions. It also had a powerful line ("We are not helpless children!") that I won't soon forget. This is a good example of a literate movie that uplifts and entertains, but also stays true to a grounded reality to which we can relate.

Of course other good movies can be fantastical or whimsical or scary or tragic or hilarious. The Fall, a recent opener, is all of these and more. These examples are so-called independent films, but that doesn't mean that all indepenent films are good or that blockbusters can't be just as good. But it pains me to hear people explain that they only watch a movie every few years or so because the last one they saw was so bad. There are many good ones out there they should be watching. Is it right for me to make such a judgemental statement? You bet! How can someone go through life thinking that Catwoman is their fate when it comes to watching movies?

I'm deluding myself in thinking that is their only reason. Sure, these people just don't like movies as much as me. They aren't as important or don't hold as much meaning and power in their lives. Therefore, when they watch something as wonderful as the movies I mentioned, they won't be blown away by the craftsmanship, the quality with all aspects of the assembly and artistry. Instead, they will walk out and say, "I'm glad I spent two hours in air conditioning and I don't regret it." That's better than saying, "There went 100 minutes of my life that I won't get back."