Dreamland

Could there be a more frightening place? Well, if you're me, probably not.

Let's move to a better topic - Naps. I just awoke from a temporary slumber on my long leather couch. Like the Pearson couches (but not as nice), it is a trap. If you sit on it for more than thirty minutes, then seventy-five percent of the time you will move into a lower position, that of horizontal, in an effort to gain in comfort. This is the trap. Because it's already comfortable enough. There's no need to lie down. Yet, one does anyway. The rest is inevitable. You WILL fall asleep; it's only a matter of time. How long can a person hold out? No one is strong enough.

Some people feel bad and learn their lesson. They didn't mean to take a nap - it just happened. They are sorry because of all the other things they had to do didn't get done and their only excuse is a nap, which doesn't sound like the evil trap that it is to other people. They just think that you are lazy. But what about those people who don't learn their lesson? They just keep going back to the couch, knowing full well what's going to happen. Their papers are in order on the coffee table, a little timer has been set, and they sit down with care. Lying back and stretching out, they close their eyes in grateful relief. Then someone else walks callously into the room, causing all kinds of commotion. They look on your lifeless body for a fraction of a second before you are awake, eyes wide open, breathing a little heavily. You stammer out, "It's not what it looks like!" But they just hang their head, shaking it from side to side.

Most of my naps come with weird dreams. It seems that if you are already awake and then go back to sleep, then you are guaranteed to have messed up dreams. Someone's probably done a lot of research on the subject, but I'm a little dehydrated right now and lack the energy or desire to look that up. However, today I noticed a repeating pattern to my nap-induced dreams. They follow this question: What if Quantum Leap was just a dream? I apologize to major fans of that show if it really was a dream; I lost track of it in the later seasons and didn't see the finale.

What happens is usually my dream self is either doing something normal in the present or past and finds a deliberate clue that indicates he is not in his natural time and belong in the past or present, respectively. [This is similar to the plot of Somewhere in Time, which I think is the most romantic movie ever, and it stars Superman and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman to boot!] After my dream self encounters this revelation, my actual self wakes with a start. I come to my senses and realize, Phew, it was just a dream!

I wish I could entreat you to a great story of such a dream, but today, after I woke up thinking this would make a good post, I went to write down the specifics of the dream and by the time pencil hit paper, it was gone. There's just a small window when the dream-that-seemed-so-real lingers in your conscious mind and you can't wait to tell someone how amazing or prophetic or colorful it was. But by the time you write it down or find some poor soul to regale it with, it has morphed into an incomprehensible mess that doesn't make sense and leaves you seeming like a crazed lunatic. Maybe you are crazy and that's the truth, and the Sandman is an evil genius who laces you with a drug as you exit his surreal world which makes you believe your crazy dreams. The trouble, for him, is that the effects wear off quickly. Lucky for us.

Can you think of any other movies or stories that involve a premise where it was all a dream? I can only think of one, but I won't tell and spoil it for someone else. I'm sure there are a few more.

Now, as I finish typing, will I realize this post was all a dream? Ahhhhh!

P.S. If you are looking for a horror movie about dreams that is actually scary, check out Dreamscape with Dennis Quaid. It is very, very....strange.