Monday, March 10, 2008

I'll do it a little later...

Is it procrastinating on writing a new post by writing a new post on procrastination? Well, if anything, that's a hard sentence to read, so I guess I did something.

Most motivational books written with advice or tips on accomplishing what you want in life advocate these actions: deciding on your goals, writing them down, discover and write down the steps to succeed for each goal, then do the steps, one by one. That's an admirable lesson, waiting, ever so patiently, to be learned by me. If I had done this, then I would probably already have had my name on a movie poster somewhere, crashed an expensive foreign car into a the back of another expensive foreign car that I smashed into a tree earlier, become an explosives expert, and written the great American novel that moves readers to tears while also being nothing but a taut, action-thriller involving a nuclear meltdown, a circus strongman, a feisty news anchorwoman, and a cigarette truck. Alas, this remains to be done because I haven't made those dang lists. That's the only reason!

Well, maybe not. Those things have a lot to do with talent, luck and a lack of brains. I won't disclose which is associated with which. But procrastination, I would like to wager, is also a big part of it. What happens when you want to do something, but it kinda seems like it's going to take a long time? If you're me, then you want to prep first, not by getting out pen and paper while meditating on some serious thinking, but rather by warming up the old noggin by watching an episode or two of my favorite TV show(s). My brain usually thinks this is the best way to start out because it's preferable not to strain yourself at the get go and prematurely bonk out. That's the key to running a long race, anyway. For serious.

So, after a hearty dose of TV, rather than being invigorated, I'm usually kinda tired and lethargic. I know, maybe some food will help. Hmmm, let's see...something that's easy to make and even easier to eat. Hopefully, it's something that's already made. Oatmeal cream pies it is! After a few of those (I don't want to go overboard), I'll go back to the couch and ruminate on my current situation. But now I'm already a little confused. What was it that I wanted to do in the first place? Oh yeah, start on that movie career. Ugh, that sounds like a BIG project. Maybe I should do some research by watching a movie. Or two.

Four to six hours later, it's getting pretty late. I'm told that responsible people go to bed by midnight, but since it's only two o'clock ante meridiem, I haven't shot too far past that, and therefore I don't feel so bad. However, I do have to work tomorrow, so I should probably start to think about going to bed; I am kinda tired. Okay, so I didn't get started on the movie career tonight, but I'll get to it tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll keep a pad of notes next to my bed just in case I wake up in a fit of inspiration. Laying down to sleep, I think about the novel that wins me accolades for inspiring a new generation of firefighters and ethical news persons. And then I think about explosions. After drifting off into a deep REM sleep, I wake up suddenly, due to an extreme case of genius. The solution to all of my plot problems, and Hollywood social issues, is sitting at the front of my brain, raising its glorious hand just waiting to be called upon. Wait, though, because I'm getting drowsy rather quickly. I fumble around for my notes, but then I realize my pen is in the other room. Oh well, I'll probably remember it in the morning. I mean, it's really good.

The morning comes and I'm running late for work, mostly because I'm tired from the night before. I make it on time, because that's how I roll, but I feel like I'm strung out and other people make that observation, too. I sit at my desk, thinking about all that work I need to do, but before I get into all of those lists and tasks, I'm desperately trying to resurrect that genius thought that will someday give reason to create an entry in the Dictionary of National Biography under the heading: Bravo de la Tromeo -- Writer -- Raconteur -- Explosives Expert -- All-around Good Guy.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Capital post, my man. Bravo, de la Tromeo.

Jon said...

I like the chiastic structure of your opening sentence. Nice work.

Mr. Fairbanks said...

I did that on purpose, but I didn't know what it was called. And now I do. Thanks!

mark said...

Dude, speaking of oatmeal cream pies, I totally ate some chocolate zingers yesterday. Have you found a good vending machine down there?

Mr. Fairbanks said...

No! What I wouldn't give for a friggin' Zinger right now. Well, maybe my dignity, but that's about it!

Jon said...

Well, that's why you know dudes like me, who know about ancient poetic and literary devices used in, among other places, the Old and New Testaments.

I keeps it real.

mark said...

Yeah! More literary devices from Hebrew poetry!

Jenny Maciaszek said...

Look! It's you! http://media.barnesandnoble.com/?fr_story=ff8f05bdcd1e22403ed5b9f07f4cc4cb6795e695&rf=bm

Mr. Fairbanks said...

You're right, Jenny! Try as I might to avoid it, that will probably be me in thirty years.