The Stage of Death

Has this ever happened to you? You watch a movie and, depending on the subject matter, want to be just like the protaganist. Or you're simply in the mood for whatever has been going on.

For example, Don Juan DeMarco; after watching that, I just want to be a ladies man extraordinaire. Or when I finish watching Singing in the Rain, I want to be a dancer like Gene Kelly. And when bullets stop flying, cars stop smashing and fists stop punching in the Bourne series, I want to tour the world whilst evading the US government.

So, what's it like when I watch something like The Phantom of the Opera? You can bet I want to travel around the catacombs beneath Paris, raising all kinds of hell! Which brings me to the main subject of this post: creepy old theatres.

What's the deal with old theatres and creepiness? They seem to go hand in hand, like peanut butter and bananas, or pretzels and milk. Old theatres have a kind of depressing, lost-innocence, other-worldly, historical mustiness about them. If they haven't been constantly renovated, then at some point they will have been officially forgotten by time and left to the ravages of dust and mildew and paint chips. When it happens, it happens quickly. The elements all break down - the lightbulbs become more dim, the metal finishes fade, the carpet wears thin, and the pictures look evil. It's like some goth kid's dream.

Also, I'm talking about stage theatres, which might have shown some films in their day, but had lots of dramatic or comedic acting played upon them, too. Actors are a notorious profession for having exciting (read: morally questionable) lives. Lots of drama involving the sexes and high principles must have plagued their ranks inside and outside of the theatres. Egos, girlfriends, and money all took part in duels of ambition, lust and greed. There can be no doubt that ghosts often frequent these stages, back rooms and, hopefully, cellars. And those ghosts couldn't have died in a good mood.

So the next time you and some chums are wondering what to do on a cold, dark Saturday night, why not make some cookies and go exploring an old theatre with some flashlights and six hours of horror movies fresh in your brain?

Man, all of those people sure give me the creeps!