Why I Do What I Do

Today you're going to get a little insight into my mind. I wasn't a psychology major, and during Psych 101 I probably was too busy staring at girls to pay any attention to whatever is really going on deep down in my brain. However, I'm here to talk about some compulsive decisions that I make and why.

My book collecting approached near mania form at one point in the past five years. They filled up my apartment so much that when I moved in with a roommate I had to put my mattress on top of six bookcases just to fit them in my room. It was actually pretty cool, since that made a nice little cubby underneath where I could hide out. If only I was still eight.

During the intense years, I would go to a book sale, a used book store, a garage sale, a thrift store, or anyplace that sold cheap books and find at least ten that I had to have. I wasn't interested in owning them as an investment, rather I merely wanted to have an endless supply of interesting fodder with which to stimulate my tiny little brain cells. But here's the insight into me: Deep down, I kept thinking to myself, if I ever get stranded on a deserted island or put in the Chateau D'If, and somehow my books come with me, then I'll keep sane by reading for ten straight years. I kid you not, those were my actual thoughts. That's what went through my mind as I purchased book after book. Some of you might not be surprised.

Another little quirk that some might not know about me is the question I ask myself before I buy an article of clothing or pair of shoes. It is a simple rule I live by: Will I be able to outrun a pack of wolves in this? If the answer is yes, then I buy it. If no, then I must pass. You might think that it wouldn't matter what I wear, the wolves will catch me and eat me anyway. Maybe. But I think I would have at least a sporting chance if I didn't wear clogs and baggy pants.

I pretty much think I can do any sort of physical challenge that doesn't involve knife fighting (and even then I wish I could). If you asked me to run from Kansas to Tierra del Fuego and back by noon tomorrow I would say, "No way! You're crazy." But if you asked me to do it in sixty days, then I would say, "You're on. I've got two months vacation coming and I've been meaning to practice my Spanish and lose ten pounds." Now, I'm not stupid, so I wouldn't volunteer to wrestle a hippo or tightrope walk between skyscrapers. Still, though, the desire to do that would burn ever so bright, despite my desire to remain alive. So the next time you think of something that sounds cool, is really hard, and probably won't kill me, then let me know and I'll see if I can oblige.

By the way, I've probably only read ten percent of my books so far, in case you were wondering.