Expectations

A while ago I went to the mall and saw an Orange Julius stand. It had been a long time since I had stepped foot inside those insidious traps of consumerism and depression, so I had immediate memories of me as a happy child, yet to be jaded by the horribleness of wandering around in an enclosed structure looking for something that isn't found inside (dignity). When I had these memories, I recalled the great taste of the Orange Julius. It was different than anything we could get at a grocery store, so it was always a treat when we conned our parents into buying one. The fact that they didn't always give in made it even more valuable. So, standing at one in my late twenties, I had a giant chasm of time to create this legend in my mind. I was literally salivating at the thought of its creamy orange-ish goodness. But after I bought and tasted it, all of that immediately went away. It tasted like the lady had used cyanide instead of their patented powder. In fact, I threw most of it away because I couldn't stand to swallow it. Also, I didn't want Dead by O.J. on my grave stone.

Admittedly, I rely on my id a little too much. Often I impulsively react to stimulus similar to the above without thinking about the previous circumstances. Or I arrive at unrealistic expectations for something because I really want them to be that way. The first time I visited Italy I hoped that Venice would be exactly like it was in the Sylvester and Tweety cartoons. Boy was I wrong; at the least the part I visited. Had I thought about it like a grown-up and not an eight-year old, then I would have separated real life from a cartoon. But my expectations were dashed and I moped around for a few hours upon arrival. If I could time travel, I would go back and slap that younger version of me. No wait, I would go back to the Venetian era which would fulfill my expectations! Duh.

Sometimes having the wrong expectation can lead to a positive. Like going into a movie and thinking, this will probably be worse than Wild, Wild, West, but I guess I'll go anyway, and then realizing that I, Robot was way better than the previews made it seem. In that case, I wound up liking something that I normally would have thought was a piece of crap if the trailer was made like Superman Returns (which conversely couldn't live up to the hype I had in my mind).

It's tough to settle down the old mind and get a decent set of expectations for something on which you have very little information. When I go to the grocery store, in any country really, I pretty much know what to expect because I've been thousands of times in my life. But I didn't know how to psyche myself up for moving to a different state away from everyone I know. I only had Cast Away as a point of reference. [By the way, my experience has been much better than Tom Hanks'.] Dates are another iffy expectation experience. Having gone on a lot helps, but each person is going to be new and different, and you can't know too much about them unless you read their diary or Facebook profile.

This is why it is important to pay attention to wise-ass remarks made by our elders when we screw up constantly. Remember that old guy in It's a Wonderful Life? When George Bailey was hemming and hawing and being all shy around Mary Hatch, he said, "Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death...Oh, youth is wasted on the wrong people!" Well, he was right. They've got the straight dope on how stuff works in life, so we can have a little more knowledge in the can when it comes time for making expectations. Then maybe we won't act like dumb eight-year olds when it comes to impulse buying juice drinks in the mall. Or other important stuff.
I thought the Meteor Crater would be cool like Dinosaurs and Chocolate Milk. But it sucks like Jurassic Park III, Amarillo, TX and rotten egg sandwiches all at the same time.