I Die Alone: or The Shite Knife

Last fall, with all of the politics floating around in the air, you could find stories in the paper that made you fear the world as we know it was ending.  This was the argument of those people wanting to get elected, because they were the ones who would stop it with their particular brand of American know-how.  

Philosophically, one could make the argument that the world is always ending, as we know it, because we don't know the future; we can only make guesses based on our previous knowledge and experience.  Some people act as if they do the same things like they always have, then everything won't change and it will all be okay.  In many cases this is true, but we can't stem the tide of our global society, and we can't forestall all that we do not know, which is a lot.

However, I remain positive about humans and our ability to survive, if only we would take advantage of it.  How we survive, alone or as a society is totally up to us.  I think we are a resourceful lot.  Global warming?  No problem.  Economic troubles?  Ain't no thing.  Zombies? We already train for that via video games and movies.  This is a wonderful world to live in and try to stay living in.  Our opportunities are endless, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes.

Last fall I also read a blog post describing a story by an anthropologist studying various disappearing cultures in the world.  He recounted the story of the shit knife.  Basically, an elderly Inuit wouldn't go along with his relatives into the modern world.  They took all of his tools to force him to be dependent upon them and join the exodus.  He stole off in the night after making a knife out of his own feces, fashioning a sled out of a dog he killed, and used another dog to pull him to freedom.  This is a crude, but beautiful story of determination.  That guy wasn't going to live in a city.

But when it comes to our problems, even mine, it is easy to feel like we have no control or that sometimes they are too hard to try and solve.  After reading that, I refuse to think that solutions aren't out there when we need them.  We may not realize them at the time, but we need to keep looking.  

This is a great time for information.  Maybe the greatest ever.  Every second.  The sharing of information, the prevalence on the Internet, the publication rate is all growing at an exponential rate.  So many people are researching, trying, and finding out new things; they are indexing found knowledge and putting it out there like never before.  This is one advantage to having six billion people on the planet.  Not every knowable thing is available.  But don't give up.  You might find the story of a shit knife, and that might inspire you to not give up and butcher your problem with a pointy pile of your own crap.  

Ew.

Details

I recently saw a movie in which the main character would have died a pretty terrible death had not his captors tied him to a pipe hanging from the ceiling, which he was able to forcibly pull down, break the bolt supporting it, and thus earn his freedom.  So, if one thinks about it a little too carefully, that bolt supporting the pipe is a crucial element towards the resolution of the plot.  Of course, the movie doesn't dwell on this, because it isn't really crucial at all.

However, I want to stay on that topic.  There are endless movies where a major plot point occurs because of the character's ability to do something pretty incredible.  Not past the limit of physics in many cases, but venturing into the real of really damn lucky.  So, what if they weren't?

What if instead there was an alternate universe, of which there could be an infinite supply, where something didn't go so right.  Like in this movie, we see a couple of engineers arguing over the size of the bolts used to support a certain pipe.  One says that a size 8 will do, as it will support the weight of the 3-inch pipe with no problem.  But the other pleads, "Yes, but let's say someone is goofing around and hanging off of the pipe.  It can't support the weight of a, say, six-foot five-inch guy.  And if he pulls the pipe down, lots of pressurized steam could likely spray in some innocent bystander's face, all the while filling the catwalk with dense steam.  It would be hard to see through and anyone else in the area would be confused and might easily run into someone blindly and accidentally push them off the catwalk onto the dangerous machinery below.  All because some guy was horsing around."  

Of course, the other engineer wouldn't even listen to the whole thing.  That's crazy.  They certainly don't have to over engineer things for these movie eventualities.  But if I was the first engineer, I would say, "You know, I bet that would totally happen.  Let's reinforce it."  Then the time comes when our protagonist is chained to the pipe and needs to pull down real hard, kick some faces and spray some steam.  But it won't work.  Panic comes across his face and a knife goes into his belly.  Cut to the two honest engineers, giving a thumbs-up because their pipe didn't break.  The end.