I was going over an assignment. Wait, it is due today. I had a book that I hadn't read. The assignment, I thought, was to write a short bit about some topic in the book I liked. The book was about...(and now I forget). But I had a good idea in my head on how to bullshit a few pages out of that idea.
Then the horror came, as I looked closer at the assignment, which was several pages long. It was as if I hadn't read it before, as if I just made it up in my head. I needed to write a ten page paper on a topic the instructor had selected (there were ten to choose from). Also required were at least 5 scholarly articles and 5 book sources to support my arguments. Now I was faced with something that would take all of my energy!
I was prepared to sit at my computer for the next 3 hours and write and write, but not think. Now I had to think and choose a topic, go to a database and find some info (which I know how to do, thankfully). But what if the articles I need aren't available immediately? I have no time for ILL! And how am I supposed to get at these books? Read/skim them? Find all of the ideas and then formulate my own?
I only had five hours until class. This was impossible. I didn't panic, though. I went straightaway to depression. Then weaseling. What could I say to buy more time? Could I just call in sick? Have a friend hit me (ever so gently) with his car? Fill the classroom with a chemical smell that would induce vomiting? I needed to either get class canceled for everyone, or just me. But then I still had to do this assignment, somehow, real soon.
And then I woke up, realized I wasn't a college student, and had no such pressing troubles. I need to stop working the reference desk at night.
Damn you, lazy students!
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